Religion???

I had Roman Catholicism stuffed down my throat as a child, which probably explains my aversion.... 

God must have seen this site "How to start a religion" which contains gems like:
-Make sure Mom was a virgin when she conceived you. 
-Preach love and charity and forgiveness and faith. Don't sin. After all that, let them kill you.

So I prefer the following:

Darwinism  and Social Darwinism 

Big Bang theory

An alternative to Intelligent Design and the relationship with pirates

The Invisible Pick Unicorn

Then there are the Transcendental Curryists, who believe that:
We "Munchers" believe that the basic building blocks of our universe are  the curry spices. 
The Big Sizzle Theory holds that certain spices were  cunningly combined on the First Friday Night 
by the Mysterious Mrs.  Sharma in her Great Celestial Kitchen in the Infinite Void, somewhere near Slough.

The aroma was so awesomely piquant that life spontaneously created  itself to bask in it, and enjoy the 
multitudinous rainbow flavours thereof.